Entries by Lisa Schlesinger

#MeToo: #NowWhat?

As a human being, I’m in favor of social changes that make it more difficult for sexual harassment and abuse to take place. But as a psychoanalyst, I have some misgivings about the #MeToo Movement. In my capacity as a therapist, my primary concern is always for the emotional well-being of the individual. While the […]

Projective Identification: The Psychological Seesaw

Have you ever argued with a loved one who accused you of exhibiting the same behavior they exhibited during that argument? That’s known as “projection.” Picture a couple arguing at a restaurant. The woman criticizes her husband for speaking disrespectfully to their server. She tells him that he has a bad habit of speaking down […]

Lean In: Acceptance Is the Path of Least Resistance

Imagine that you’re swimming in the ocean. You’re quite a distance from land because out here it’s quiet, peaceful. Eventually your muscles tire, and your body tells you that it’s time to return to shore. As you start toward land, you realize that you’re caught in a strong undercurrent, making it difficult to swim. Rather […]

Acceptance: Why is it Difficult?

As the saying goes, “what we resist persists.” Acceptance means allowing oneself and others to be exactly as they are. Often we try to change, control, or dictate circumstances in an effort to alter an outcome. One of the reasons people suffer is that they oppose reality. Lack of acceptance causes suffering. Think of a […]


How can you decipher whether the sorrow you feel is authentic or self-serving? Understanding your motives is the first step to understanding which type of guilt you possess. Do you apologize to absolve your own bad feelings or alternatively, is your apology driven by genuine remorse for the hurt you may have inflicted? The following […]

There’s No Place Like Home

The only thing constant is change. There is no state of mind or stage of life that remains the same. What makes transitions feel so difficult for many of us? As a Psychotherapist, I have the opportunity to help people with the obstacles that surface during developmental passages. The number one emotion people describe during […]

Unable To Find Calm In Everyday Frustrations

As a Psychoanalyst, it is my experience that people have trouble regulating their emotions, especially when they experience frustration, disappointment, or anxiety. People feel overwhelmed and scared when having to tolerate and face difficult feelings, seeking refuge in various ways. Perhaps we all find it difficult to tolerate the concept of waiting, especially the more […]

Got Anxiety? Psychoanalysis Can Help.

We all experience anxiety from time to time. Think of the first presentation you gave in school. Think of those agonizing minutes before a job interview. Then think of your first day at the new job. Think of your first date, your first dance, your first party. This list is endless. Anxiety is a normal […]


Many people spend their lives without an internal compass, feeling unreal, cloudy, or phony. They go through the motions and feel inside that they are just existing. Others try to mold themselves into the person that they imagine is expected of them, smiling, nodding, whatever they perceive pleases their audience. Feeling faux can be felt […]

How To Choose The Right Help For You

I am often asked about the differences between mental health practitioners, for instance what are the differences between psychologists, social workers or psychiatrists? The academic of a mental health professional does not necessarily dictate how that professional practices. For example, a Psychologist is trained to do research and clinical work but may decide to conduct […]

Three Ways to Avoid the Vacation Illusion

As the old saying goes “wherever you are there you are.” On vacation, we tend to think we can bypass this predicament and a geographical cure will suffice. When speaking about vacations, I am describing two kinds of dilemmas I recognize through my work as a therapist. The first one is a person who arrives […]

Fathers – “The New Normal”

In the forties and fifties, it was commonplace for a father to “bring home the bacon” while mothers reigned over the household and the children. In the 21st century a lot has changed. The “new normal” can be any configuration from: fathers who stay home with their kids, from mothers who are the breadwinners, from […]

Do Not Be Fooled…

So many therapies, so little time. “Do not be fooled” by the plethora of treatments and the promises for short-term solutions to long-standing problems. Therapy and counseling have a long history that begin with the father of talk therapy, Sigmund Freud. Freud was the founder of Psychoanalysis and Psychodynamic therapy. These treatments foster self- awareness […]

Everything you think is wrong day…

LISA SCHLESINGER, LCSW-C Why do some days feel inevitably swayed in an unfortunate direction? You get into your car only to find that it won’t start. You call the auto club and you are left waiting for hours. You finally arrive at work, after hitting every red light, to discover your meeting was cancelled. When […]

The Skeptic, The Romantic, The Dreamer or The Negator

LISA SCHLESINGER, LCSW-C What if Valentine’s Day had more to do with our infancy or early childhood then the here and now? Even when you have no conscious memory of your early childhood, you may have a sense about the quality of love you received. You may have memories of being loved or cherished. Perhaps […]